Q: How do you buff a car?

A: Apply the wax to the shammy. Run the shammy over the car in a clockwise motion. That applies the wax. Now, move the shammy counter-clockwise. That removes the wax.

Wax on. Wax off.

Wax on. Wax off.

Why are you stopping?

There seems to be some misunderstanding. When I saved you from those teenagers, I did so under the assumption that you would be my servant, that would would buff my car and paint my fence and do odd jobs around the house. Why the hell else would I save you?

Why would I teach you karate? What the hell kind of freak do you think I am?

Q: Can anything kill a jellyfish?

A: Anything can kill a jellyfish, but not anyone. 


It takes a man of courage, a man of wisdom, a man of strength.

It takes a man willing to do anything, a man who fears nothing, a man willing to lose everything.

It takes a man so brave that he would leave his attractive wife, all alone, in the care of his neighbor, and voyage out to sea, out to the treacherous depths - perhaps never to return - and risk his life to defeat the great jellyfish and keep our swimmers safe from its horrible sting for a generation.

It takes a man willing to wear an olde-tyme diving suit, made of brass, powered by bellows, filled with gravy, for the eight long years it takes to reach the trench that holds the great beast.

Thomas Cranston, you are that man. Do not be afraid, do not be afraid to claim your destiny!

You'll get used to the gravy. In the meantime, I'm going to show your wife around my house, starting with the bedroom.

Q: What causes a knockout?

A: Anything can cause a knockout: a slip, a lapse in concentration, a skilled opponent with a lethal left hand, a glass jaw, a poorly timed parry. Anything. Those things happen. Those things I can accept.

What I cannot accept is a knockout caused by your willful disregard of my instructions. I'm here to help. I'm not here to be ignored.

I thought I was pretty clear: Dodge his punch, then counterpunch.

Dodge his punch, then counterpunch.

Then, not and. In sequence, not together. You try both at the same time, you're gonna be off balance. You're gonna be vulnerable. You're gonna get knocked out. You're gonna be siting in a heap on the canvas, holding your head, crying, asking a whole bunch of stupid questions like "What happened, Doc?" "Why's King Hippo getting his hand raised?"" "What's a knock out?" "What causes a knock out?"

I don't know what to do with you, Little Mac. Other than kiss you, kiss you right on the mouth.

You're lucky you're so damn cute.