Q: How do you Replace rod bearing?

A: Quite simply, no one can replace Rod Bearing.

He's the finest salesman I have ever seen. He could sell ice to an Eskimo, water to a drowning man, veal to a vegan.

I once saw him sell a box of used matches to a Nobel prize winner on a dare.

He was the top salesman from January '96 to April '08, selling useless pieces of swamp to retirees over the phone. Half these people couldn't even afford phones, but that didn't stop Rod.

There will be no replacing Rod Bearing.

On a metaphorical level.

On a literal level, you will be replaced by that guy over there. His name is Hank Jennings. He's my wife's nephew. He's a bit of an imbecile, but, well, you know how these things work. You're Rod Bearing, nothing gets by you!

Thanks again, Rod. It's been a pleasure.

Security will escort you out.

Q: How many words are there in the Florida constitution?

A: Florida's constitution consists of over 120,000 words. However the vast majority of the words are either profane or some brand of Budweiser.

Q: Where does the king cobra snake live?

A: Judging by the grin on your face and the hissing coming from this box, I assume that question is rhetorical.

Q: What is the largest part of a circle?

A: The center.

That's where you should aim when you throw a dart.

Anywhere in the center of that enormous circle.

Anywhere at all.

You know what's not in that circle?

My neck.

Then what is your dart doing there?

Q: What system controls the computer hardware?

A: It's a new sentient operating system. We are really proud of it. We named it HAL 100, after my father. I can't wait to see what future versions can do.