Friday, November 26, 2010

Q: What reduces the mechanical advantage of a machine?

A: You could unplug it. Or rip out its wiring. Or flip the breaker. Or hit it with a hammer.

There are literally dozens of ways. You should have enough material for many, many episodes. 

But, I am not really sure your "Man vs. Blender"pilot will be as big a hit as you think.

I still don't get it.

Q: Can you say I battered him with too many questions? .

A: Yes, you can say that.

You can also say, and this way is slightly more correct, "I battered him with a cricket bat while asking him too many questions."

But, it's your confession. Write it how ever you want.

Q: Why one muscle bundle can vary in amount of contraction at different times?

A: The wiring in the chair is all messed up. This is why we should go back to firing squads.

Q:How long is a tour in the army infantry?

A: That's not a question we like to hear on someone's first day.

Now get out there and keep shooting.

The General promised to promote me if we capture that bunker.

And if I get promoted, I like to take my friends with me. That is, as long as my friends survive this poor-planned, ill-advised, suicide mission.

You should probably take some more bullets.

Q: What type of microorganism is responsible for salmonella?

A: There is no microorganism responsible for salmonella. Thoughts are responsible for salmonella.

Your thoughts.

Your vile, unclean, impure thoughts.

That's why everyone is so sick. Because you wanted this.

Even if I properly cooked the turkey, everyone would have been sick.

All because of your thoughts.

About Me

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Ryan Callahan has written, produced, or directed shows for ABC, A&E, SHowtime, The CW, TVLand, Animal Planet and other networks even lower on your dial. When not making TV, or writing fake answers, he reads books, buys books, or buys books to read later. Follow WikiFakeAnswers on Twitter and Facebook