Q: How many Diary of a Wimpy kids books have been sold to date?

 A: Over 12 million copies have been sold. Unfortunately, those numbers don't take into account the number of books stolen and read by bullies.

Q: Should you make someone vomit if they swallow chemicals?

A: It depends on what kind of chemical they have swallowed.

If the chemical is a mixture of alcohol and energy drink like Four Loko, then no, for the party is about to get started.

If the chemical is a mixture of corrosives and evil, like Moxie Cola, then yes. For the love of God, yes. Nothing ruins a party like Moxie Cola.

That actually used to be their slogan, until it was replaced for being "far too accurate."

Q: What does this quote mean It is hard to fail but it is worse never to have tried to succeed?

A: It means that sometimes people work very hard to achieve their dreams but fall short anyway.

These people get very sad and very lonely, since no one likes a failure.

In order to attract company, they encourage others to fail as well.

Q: What is power in mathematics?

A: In mathematics, as in any other science, knowledge is power. Specifically, knowledge of mathematics. Also, a general familiarity with numbers helps.

For instance, a math teacher should be able to identify numbers and be able to differentiate them from letters and drawings of butterflies. It doesn't appear that you are able to do that.

Which means that you are not a math teacher.

Which means that you are not Mr. Henderson.

Which means that I've wasted another Parent-Teacher Conference talking to a janitor.

The broom should have given it away. And your attire. And the fact that your office seems to be a supply closet.

This is why my wife doesn't like me drinking before these things.

Q: Does ice cream have fat in it and why?

A: Cream is pretty much all fat and, therefore, so is ice cream.

The fat is usually in the cream.

There shouldn't be chunks of gristle.

Where did you say you got it?

We didn't hire a clown for your birthday party.