Q:How many types of woodpeckers are there in Edmonton Alberta?

A: As far as I know, there is only one type. The birds that peck on the tress and annoy the hell out of me.

Oh, and there's also Jim Dale. I guess you could include him. He suffered a war wound in a very unfortunate area. Always a do-it-yourself kind of guy, Jim insisted on finding a way to satisfy his wife. So he built that contraption.

He claims she likes it. From what I hear, she complains a lot about all the splinters.

Q: What will make an outgoing guy not saying hi to you everyday but only stare at you and smile weirdly sometimes when he can always say hi to everyone?

A: He may be smitten with you. Or he may be having a stroke. Either way, expect to see some drooling.

Q: Why do you think George Washington was chosen to bring a message to the French on behalf of the Britich crown?

A: The British assumed that all French were deathly allergic to peanuts. They knew very little about France. Even less about George Washington.

Q:How do you know if a guy just likes you as a friend?

A: Despite your obvious attraction, your blatant flirtation and your passionate objection, he still marries your sister.

Q: What chemical formula of steel?

A: You  take a little bit of Shaquille O'Neal, add a little bit of Superman, mix it up real well and then sprinkle on a generous helping of complete apathy on the part of the American public.