Saturday, November 20, 2010

Q: If a student withdraws from a class what must he or she do with the books?

A: They can either burn them for warmth, or build a fort out of them. It's not like they'll be reading them.

Q: What would win a grizzly bear or 3 wolves?

A: Are you kidding? The grizzly bear will win. I am positive. He's bigger, stronger and meaner. Plus he has those huge claws. And those teeth.

Also, the wolves have been heavily sedated.

I bet a lot of money on the bear and I don't like to leave things to chance.

Q: What do you call the man who sings for snake?

A: We call him Gus, but his real name is Murry. I'm not sure how he got the name Gus. I guess someone said it and it just caught on.

He only sings for Snake on Wednesday and Fridays. Those are the nights Snake bowls in the co-ed league over at Ken's. Snake's a real good singer, but bowling is his passion.

Music is Gus's passion, but he's not much of a singer. Still, we let him go up there twice a week to mumble and growl and live out his dream.

The crowd doesn't much care for it. They say the most awful things.

Gus doesn't mind. He just smiles and keeps making those awful noises. I guess it's because he can't hear them, on account of being deaf-mute.

Q: How do i get pictures from razor to other phone?

A: By sending via text, as a media message, or by email. Now that's a Razor phone we're talking about, not an actual straight razor.

An actual straight razor can't take pictures. Those are reflections. And they shouldn't be talking to you.

I'm guessing you have stopped taking your medication.

Q: What did people in the time of Shakespeare do in there daily life?

A: Covet. Usurp. Plot. Brood. Avenge. Mostly, they had misunderstandings.

It was a lot like life in the time of "Three's Company". But far more believable.

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Ryan Callahan has written, produced, or directed shows for ABC, A&E, SHowtime, The CW, TVLand, Animal Planet and other networks even lower on your dial. When not making TV, or writing fake answers, he reads books, buys books, or buys books to read later. Follow WikiFakeAnswers on Twitter and Facebook