Monday, February 21, 2011

Fake Answers About Real Presidents

Q: What party did Theodore Roosevelt and supporters make?

A: Roosevelt and his supporters formed the Bull Moose party in 1912. After failing to reclaim the Presidency, Roosevelt formed the Bull Moose Party Planning Company in 1913, which released 14 poorly received stag films over the next three years, before shutting it's doors due to an outbreak of "super-chlamydia.

Q: Did Herbert Hoover follow Franklin D. Roosevelt as president? 
A: Yes. For years, in a hot air balloon, until the Secret Service shot it down.

Q: How many letters did Abigail Adams send to john Adams?

A: Over the course of their time together, Abigal Adams sent her husband thousands of personal hand-written letters, as well as hundreds of chain letters, lewd drawings, truly tasteless jokes, pictures of cats with stuff on them, sketches of people who parked their horses poorly, inspirational quotations she overheard while dining alone, results from her fantasy Continental Congress league, word carvings of local merchants she fancied, and the severed thumbs of anyone who dared cross her.



Q:How do the president transfer his powers to the vice president temporarily? 
A: By shouting: "Executive Branch Powers, Activate!"

Q: What did Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton serve as members on?

A: Thomas Jefferson. Alexander Hamilton. Charter members of the League of Colonial Justice.

By day, they founded a nation.

By night, they donned masks and kept the streets safe for rich, white landowners.

Hamilton AKA The Treasurer, baffled foes with his mathematical prowess and incapacitated them with an arsenal of razor sharp currency.

Jefferson AKA The Statesman, overpowered evildoers with his powerful oratory and fierce convictions. He also carried a hammer, which he would use to beat people about the head.

Together, they formed a powerful crime fighting duo, thwarting a plots against the Colonies by English spies, protecting the wealth of a young nation,  and bedding attractive slaves by the hundreds. 

Q: What military leader did Abraham Lincoln choose to lead the Union forces in 1864

A: Alexander the Great.


After his advisors informed him that Alexander the Great had been dead for centuries, Lincoln chose Genghis Khan.

Once he sobered up the next morning, he settled on Ulysses S. Grant



Q: How is the president's salary determined? 
A: Every year, he goes into Fort Knox for one hour. Whatever he can carry out, he can keep.

Q: Did president Wilson lead the US into war anxiously?
A: He lead the country into World War I with unwavering confidence and unstoppable belief in his righteousness, all from the safety of the White House.

The soldiers sent to Europe to fight the war, however, were incredibly anxious.

Q: Why isn't George Washington our president anymore? 
A: A 1953 Supreme Court ruling prevents the long deceased from holding office.



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Ryan Callahan has written, produced, or directed shows for ABC, A&E, SHowtime, The CW, TVLand, Animal Planet and other networks even lower on your dial. When not making TV, or writing fake answers, he reads books, buys books, or buys books to read later. Follow WikiFakeAnswers on Twitter and Facebook