Q: What is the child doing in the poem 'To Any Reader' by Robert Louis Stevenson?

A: What children around the world have been doing for ages: Asking incredibly direct questions that adults have no idea how to answer.

Q: How do you get from Dublin airport to Castle Adare in Shannon Ireland?

A: Ask a Leprechaun! If you can't find a Leprechaun, ask a small Irish person. Offer them some Lucky Charms, they love that sort of thing. Mentioning your love of Braveheart won't hurt, either.

Q: How do you get an old bankruptcy removed from your credit report?

A: Either wait seven years or fake your own death. Since you are probably as bad as budgeting time as your are with budgeting money, you will probably choose faking your own death. Congratulations! And welcome to the fun and exciting world of faking your own death.

You will need the following supplies:

1. A previously dead body, similar to yours in height, weight and bone structure.
2. An abandoned building.
3. Matches.

Good luck!

P.S. Remember the first rule of faking your own death:

Do not really kill yourself.

Q: How much is a old browning shotgun worth that has a picture of browning on it?

A: Despite what a lifetime of watching movies has led you to believe, I have absolutely no interest in hearing a pithy monologue right now. Pull the damn trigger and get it over with already.

Q: What river has the Alabama flag at it?

A: First of all, that's a brook, not a river. Secondly, it's really not fair to put your flag there. We'll never capture it. Most of our team can't swim.