Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Q: What are ways of protecting your circulatory system?

A: You can eat well, exercise frequently, abstain from drugs and alcohol, sleep 10 hours a day, drink plenty of water, avoid trips to Africa or India, stay out of the sun, and generally live a plain, boring, safe life.

Or, you can do what I did: build an exo-skeleton. Now my circulatory system is well protected, as is my skin, my skeletal system, my vital organs - such as my spleen (the spleen is very important and should always be safe-guarded) - my teeth, my hair, my eyes - everything. Literally everything.

I suggest you build one for yourself. It might take years of hard work, but in the long run, you'll save yourself a lot of worry. My exo-skeleton makes me feel bullet-proof!

Because I am. I'm also knife-proof, grenade-proof, spear-proof, arrow-proof and even shark-proof. Nothing can hurt me. I'm invincible!

If you do decide to build one for yourself, I suggest you made some modifications to my design.

Don't use concrete. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but it's very heavy. And coarse. Once it hardened, it became impossible to move. Or leave. Looks like I'm stuck in this thing forever.

Which brings me to my next mistake: include some plumbing. Really wish I had thought of that.

Also, include some air holes. You're going to want those.

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Ryan Callahan has written, produced, or directed shows for ABC, A&E, SHowtime, The CW, TVLand, Animal Planet and other networks even lower on your dial. When not making TV, or writing fake answers, he reads books, buys books, or buys books to read later. Follow WikiFakeAnswers on Twitter and Facebook