Q: Is wood fibers the same as sawdust?

A: Basically, yes, although I must tell you that neither one is the kind of fiber I meant when I suggested you eat a high fiber diet to stay regular.

I'd hate to be you tomorrow.

Q: How do you stop your school from scanning your Mac?

A: Don't go to school. You can learn anything you need to know on the internet, far more than you will learn in school. Especially in the areas of human sexuality, ill-informed political discourse and people who look like Kenny Rogers.

Q: Why is your feces purple?

Q: I subsist on a steady diet steaks made solely from Barney The Dinosaur.

Remember that Dinosaur? He sure is delicious.

What's that?

That wasn't a real dinosaur? It's just a guy in a suit?

That explains all the screaming and begging to live.

And why my feces containts so much felt.

Q: What are two things you can do to protect your computer when working on it?

A: 1.) Back up everything on your computer, by hand, in a spiral bound notebook.
2.) Give the spiral bound notebook to a complete stranger. They will be far less unlikely to expose your secrets because of a decades-long feud, like your so-called "friends."

Q: What historical figure is the Dracula legend based on?

Q: He is based on a famous Romanian Count named Ivan Chocula. Bram Stoker replaced Chocula's insatiable craving for chocolate for a thirst for blood, due to the fact that in Stoker's day, chocolate was thought of as a peasant food and blood was only consumed by aristocrats.