Q: Why are girls more talkative? A: Because guys just love to listen. To anything. At anytime. Especially right as they are falling asleep.
Q: How do you know if a guy likes you or just wants to be buds?A: If a man is interested on you on a romantic level, he will say things like:
"You are the prettiest girl in here. Oh, wait. I didn't see her. You're still cool though."
Or:
"You dress really slutty for such a cute girl. You must have the lowest self esteem. Can I buy you several drinks?"
Or:
"You have the most amazing laugh. I can't wait to hear it when you see my penis."
Or:
"You're so easy to talk to. Most of the girls I see are usually so quiet. And still. And cold. "
Or:
"I wish this night would never end. My trial starts tomorrow."
Or:
"You're so real. Most of the girls in here are so phony, like the Holocaust."
Or:
"That's a beautiful dress. It will look amazing held up in court as a piece of evidence."
Q:How do I impress a boy I really like? A: Perform oral sex. That usually does the trick. Unless you're terrible at it. Then buy him things.
Q: Why won't my wife wear her wedding rings in the house?A: You are in the wrong house.
That is not your wife.
That's why she's screaming. And crying. And throwing things at you.
Stop trying to re-propose. You're making it worse.
Q: Is there a such a thing as too much love? A: There's a fine line between too much love and stalking. You are nowhere near that line.
Q: Why are girls more talkative?
A: Because guys just love to listen. To anything. At anytime. Especially right as they are falling asleep.
Q: How do you know if a guy likes you or just wants to be buds?
A: If a man is interested on you on a romantic level, he will say things like:
"You are the prettiest girl in here. Oh, wait. I didn't see her. You're still cool though."
Or:
"You dress really slutty for such a cute girl. You must have the lowest self esteem. Can I buy you several drinks?"
Or:
"You have the most amazing laugh. I can't wait to hear it when you see my penis."
Or:
"You're so easy to talk to. Most of the girls I see are usually so quiet. And still. And cold. "
Or:
"I wish this night would never end. My trial starts tomorrow."
Or:
"You're so real. Most of the girls in here are so phony, like the Holocaust."
Or:
"That's a beautiful dress. It will look amazing held up in court as a piece of evidence."
Q:How do I impress a boy I really like?
A: Perform oral sex. That usually does the trick. Unless you're terrible at it. Then buy him things.
That is not your wife.
That's why she's screaming. And crying. And throwing things at you.
Stop trying to re-propose. You're making it worse.
Q: Is there a such a thing as too much love? A: There's a fine line between too much love and stalking. You are nowhere near that line.
Q: Is making out really as good as people say?
A: Making out is better than people say it is!
I'm assuming they are saying positive things.
Making out is incredible. It's the best thing a boy and a girl can do with each other.
Other than actually having sex.
Or having oral sex.
Or heavy petting.
Or dry humping.
But, other than that, it's the best.
So, are we going to make out?
You should decide soon. I'll have to make another stop soon, and once the bus starts filling up with kids, we won't have all this privacy.
Q: How you communicate with girls? A: With a glance. With a witty joke. With an explicit text. With the body of a deceased pet. So many ways.
I'm assuming they are saying positive things.
Making out is incredible. It's the best thing a boy and a girl can do with each other.
Other than actually having sex.
Or having oral sex.
Or heavy petting.
Or dry humping.
But, other than that, it's the best.
So, are we going to make out?
You should decide soon. I'll have to make another stop soon, and once the bus starts filling up with kids, we won't have all this privacy.
Q: How you communicate with girls?
A: With a glance. With a witty joke. With an explicit text. With the body of a deceased pet. So many ways.
Q: How can you tell if your wife is falling out of love with you?
A: There will be little signs at first.
She'll hang out with her friends more. She won't laugh at your jokes as much. She'll start to criticize the way you hold your fork.
Then you'll notice bigger changes. She'll start dressing nicer. She'll be less interested in sex. Sometimes she won't come home until very late, her hair a mess, her dress stinking of booze, cigars and Old Spice.
Eventually, the signs will become too much for you to ignore. She'll be gone for weeks at a time. She'll empty your bank account and go on a vacation to Thailand. She'll send you a sex tape she made with her new lover, labeled "You Should Watch This. You Might Learn a Thing Or Two."
After that, it's one non-stop torrent of disrespect. It will get to the point that you will curse the day you decided to dig her up and re-animate her corpse.
Q: Why do sociopaths marry?
A: They think they can get away with it.
Q: Is it okay to sleep with your boyfriend?
A: That's kind of a tricky question.
One on hand, we have been dating for a while now. And he really loves me. He tells me all the time. And he's really nice and sweet and caring. He's always taking me to fancy restaurants and buying me nice things and flying me all over the world.
On the other hand, all his lavish spending has left him nearly bankrupt. This may sound kind of shallow, but I can't be with a man who's not fabulously wealthy. It's just how I was brought up.
Sooooo .... Yeah, you can fuck him. Just tell me when so I can walk in and act all shocked and heartbroken. He'll feel so bad he'll do anything to make it up to me, no matter what it costs. No matter how he has to get the money. He might even sell a kidney.
I've never had anyone sell a kidney for me.
That's so romantic.
