Q: Do crabs live in the deepest part of the ocean?

A: Yes. They do. At least some of them.

Others, such as hermit crabs, live in very shallow water near the beach.

Then there are the kind that live in pubic hair.

Guess which kind I gave you.

Here's a hint: If properly cooked and eaten, they would not prove to be delicious.

Q: How to make an egg drop project without a parachute or commercial packing materials that can survive a two story drop?

 A: Master telekinesis.

Q: Can someone legally listen to your phone conversation?

A: I'm not trying to listen to your phone conversation.

Your father collapsed and I'm trying to call 911.

For the love of God, please stop citing legal precedents and get off the phone.

Q: How much does a private school cost in California?

A: Okay, fine. I'll take out the trash. Do you always have to be so passive aggressive, Mom?

Q: What to do when your sound doesn't work on a mac?

A: Accept the fact that you are deaf and your childhood dream of being a world famous composer will never come true.

Set your sights on a new, achievable dream, like being really good at Farmville.