Q: What is the hard surface of earth?

A: The hardest part of the earth's surface is the crust. It protects the mantle and the core. It's miles thick and very hard.

You didn't break your claws on the earth's crust. You broke them on concrete. You're trying to dig through a swimming pool. You can't tunnel through a swimming pool.  Every mole knows that.

But you're not really a mole, are you?

You might have fooled everyone else, but you can't fool me. I know you're not a mole. You're one of those mole-like people who live in the sewers and hide from the sun. I know it. Don't lie to me.

I've suspected it for months now, ever since you stumbled into our mole-hill and start hanging around and asking all those questions. You asked a lot of questions for a mole. Too many. That was my first clue.

My second clue came when you refused an extra helping of dirt. Who would refuse more dirt? Dirt is delicious. Everyone knows that. Every mole at least.

But, as I said, you're not a mole. Not that I've seen you dig, I know for sure. You're a pale, hairy, shriveled, little man. Sad. Lonely. Looking for some friends.

You'll find no friends down here.

Don't pretend you can't see me when I'm talking to you!