Q: What are the disadvantages of a polluted river?

A: Well, you can't drink it for one. Kids can't play in it. Can't swim in it. It turns their skin all white and chalky. Can't water ski in it, that's for sure. You really shouldn't be near it anyway. not if you want to keep your sense of smell.

On the plus side, it's so murky it hides the bodies incredibly well. Now, grab his legs and let's get him in there. My ears are starting to water. That can't be good.

Q: What is audit in child care?

A: Oh, it's really just a fancy word for "head count."

A head count is when we count the number of children at the beginning and end of the day, to make sure we haven't lost any.

I realize you have never done one. That's why we are doing this audit.

And why I brought the police.

Q: Are you ready for fly?

A: To fly.

To fly.

That's the expression. "Are you ready to fly?" You would say that and then launch the catapult.

It's a good thing they don't rate Batman villains on grammar. Or names.

Because you'd be right at the bottom, Catapult Jimmy.

Q: Why do you use foam on a oil fire?

A: Foam cools the fire and stops it from spreading.

Foam does that. Foam.

Not Silly String.

As you can plainly see, Silly String does not put out an oil fire.

As you can plainly see, Silly String spreads the fire. Alarmingly fast.

I have to admit, it was funny the way you said "Everybody chill" right before you sprayed the Silly String. 

It was less funny when Dale got engulfed in flame.

Win some, lose some, I guess.

Q: How will you use the dates August 6 and August 9 to create awareness about the ill effects of nuclear disasters?

A: With my new line of  "You Dropped a Bomb on Me" commemorative T-Shirts.

Don't worry, they're tasteful. They're all tattered and soiled and shit.

Oh, and they glow in the dark. You know, as a reminder of all the pain and suffering.

Soooo, are you going to buy one?