Q: What are the working conditions of a garbage man?

A: They couldn't be better. The world is your oyster. No one else has such access to discarded soups cans, irregular toys and overused pornography.

Finding Christmas gifts for the children has never been easier.

Especially if they happen to love maggots.

Q: What cities were not destroyed by bombing during World War 2?

A: Atlanta, Kansas City, Boston, Toledo, Los Angeles, Detroit, Milwaukee, Dallas, Denver, Seattle and countless others.

When you really stop and think about it, World War II wasn't that bad.

Q: How does Canada communicate?

A: Through their countless bland emissaries, who easily blend in with average Americans and corrupt our youth with tales of free health care and ice-hockey heroics and something called "Kraft Dinner."

Q: What does VA day stand for?

A: Victory over Angola. You've probably seen the picture of the sailor being ignored by the apathetic girl while all the ticker tape falls.

Q: When did Jesus tell us to pray?

A: Whenever we really, really need something.

Like a girl to like us.

Or, our aim to be steady.

Or, our team to cover.