Q: What two generals decide to meet and declare the surrender after the Civil War?

A: General Ulysses S. Grant and General Harland Sanders.

The terms of the surrender were so unfavorable to the South that General Sanders was subsequently demoted to Colonel.

Q: How does lack of sleep affect your sports performance?

A: It vastly improves it. That's why so many mixed martial artists don't sleep in the days leading up to the fight. That way, they are more motivated to end the fight early and go home and get a good night's sleep.

Q: Does heart worm medicine for dogs keep all other worms away?

A: Thankfully, no. So keep baiting that hook. We'll be able to fish him out in no time.

Q: What does it mean when an egg yolk is green?

A: You are starring in a live action remake of the Dr. Seuss classic "Green Eggs and Ham."

Or, you are in prison, and having what is considered a normal breakfast.

Either way, I see no harm in eating the egg.

No harm for me. You might get very sick. I might be highly entertained.

Q: What sports does England excel in at the commonwealth games?

A: Decade after decade, they continue to dominate "Upper Class Twit of the Year."