Q: What does isolate mean in health and safety?

A: Oh, it's just a little term we use when we need to give someone a little ... quiet time, away from the other patients.

There's no need to be afraid. You just need a little ... time to unwind, before you can rejoin your friends.

Don't read into my pauses, or my facial expression. I look like this all the time. Even when I'm smiling, I look like I'm in a state of mortal terror. You should see my prom photos.

Quarantine? I didn't hear anyone say anything about quarantine. No. That's crazy talk. We just want you to hang out in your new, plastic room so you can get a chance to ... relax and take a moment for yourself.

HazMat suits? These aren't HazMat suits. These are astronaut costumes. We're having a costume party. Don't you remember?

That meteor that landed on your house sure did a number on your memory. Do you remember anything? Do you remember seeing the meteor glow? Or seeing anything crawl out of it? Or having anything burrow into your skin and lay eggs in your veins?

No reason. These are all standard questions. I'm sure you'll remember some more once we get you away from all these flashing lights and air raid sirens.

Now, how about you go into your little bubble, lie down, take some deep breaths - DON'T SCRATCH THAT!

Q: How is Brazil diversifying it's economy?

A: Brazil's economy will no longer rely exclusively on kidnapping tourists, children of wealthy businessmen, and families of professional athletes. Due to a drastic decrease in tourists, children worth ransom and professional athletes who let their families live in the country, the enterprising young men and women of Brazil have announced plans to kidnap anything that might hold even the slightest emotional attachment, such as pets, family photos, video game controllers and sandwiches.

Q: What vegetable can not be frozen?

A: Your grandmother!

Your grandmother.

Hello? Is this thing on?

Are you an audience or an oil painting?

This is ridiculous. I'm busting my ass up here and you guys are giving me nothing.

I'm through with this shit.

Next time you want someone to perform when you take a loved one off life support, call a mime.