Q: What does a little lock next to someone's Twitter mean?

A: It means their tweets are secure and they must approve you as a follower.

It does not mean that they are locked up in federal prison.

Please stop holding fund raisers.

Q: What do you write on work experience if the job you worked for is no longer in business?

A: If the company no longer exists, then there is no one to verify your claims.

You can be anything you want!

Call yourself president of the company and say it went out of business because Obama's Socialist policies make it nearly impossible for small businesses to operate.

That sounds like something I heard Sarah Palin say.

The management of Wal-Mart will love it, will love your resume and will love you.

They are sure to hire you.

The need a lot of greeters during the holiday season.

Q: What makes a thing taste sour?

A: What you taste is a very special batch of Lemonex I whipped up for this occasion.

It makes everything taste sour. Then it kills you.

It's a poison. That's why there's so much smoke coming out of this beaker.

Laugh now, but soon your face smiling face will contort into a painful, deathly grimace. Then, all of Gotham will come to fear the name of Sourpuss!

And I will finally have my revenge on Batman.

What do you mean this isn't Gotham?

My GPS clearly says this is Gotham.

Then who patrols these streets?

The police? Only the police? What fun is that?

Why are there so many red dots on my chest?

Q: How did Hitler treat children and women?

A: The same way he treated men; based solely on which section of The Bible they believed to be true.

Q: Does a guy like you if he sits next to you on the bus allot?

A: His actions mean one of two things.

1.) He really likes you, but has a shy personality and needs to work up the courage to ask you out.

2.) He's very subtly trying to hold you hostage.

There's only one way to be sure. Stand up, point at him and scream "bad touch!" over and over again.

If he likes you, this will help him get over his shyness.