Q: What does it mean when a boy you like ask you how old are you?

A: It means you are very pretty and have a grace and maturity beyond your years. It also means he's been previously convicted of statutory rape.

Q: What happens after foreclose?

A: You'll have to move out.

Please don't look at me with those puppy dogs eyes.

Stop pouting. There's nothing I can do.

For God's sake, don't cry. Look, we knew this could never last. Sooner or later you and your family would have to move out and you and I would have to say goodbye.

Don't blame me. I'm not the one taking your home away from you. The bank is. I'm staying here.

I can't say that I am sad. I kind of wanted you guys to go. That's why I said all those things. And why I moved all that furniture. And why I made the walls bleed.

Honestly, though, this is what you get when you buy a house on an ancient Indian burial ground. And when you take financial advice from a ghost.

Q:Who had the better railroad system north or south?

A: The railroad system in the North had the distinct advantage of not constantly being on fire.

Q: How does the natural environment affect the people is southeast Asia?

A: Every once in a while, it teaches them that living right next to the beach may not be as great as it seems.

Q: How does a lizard live without drinking?

A: Not everybody needs a drink to have a good time. Some of us like to come down by the bog, hang out with our friends, and eat bugs.