A: Good point, Chief. Slavery is a bit of a harsh word.
How about we call it, Life Long Employment With All Pay Deferred. That should make the matter more appealing to your tribesman.
As an added bonus, they'll get to be in the sun, all day long. Now that I think about it, I realize that's not much of a selling point. Seems like you already have a lot of that here.
But they will get to ride on a boat. Tell them that. Free Boat Ride! Followed by Life Long Employment With All Pay Deferred. Very Small Chance of Death.
You're right, probably best not to mention death at all. My math may be a bit off anyway. Wouldn't want anyone to get disappointed.
Anyway, Chief, these are your people. You know best how to sell them on the idea.
If they ask about a time table for deferred payment, mumble something about eternal riches in the next life. We find that answer works wonders.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Q: What Does SOF mean in Medical terms?
A: Oh, that.
You really shouldn't be looking at that, but now that you've seen it, I will tell you the truth.
SOF doesn't mean anything.
We were playing Hangman. Dr. Harrington was trying to guess the word "Softball."
That's why there's a drawing of a gallows on your father's chart as well.
I agree, we did act in poor taste, but, in our defense, your father has been in a coma for days now and we hoped that by playing a game near him, we might rouse him out of his deathly slumber.
Also, Dr. Harrington is terrible at Hangman and I am a little behind on some of my student loans.
You really shouldn't be looking at that, but now that you've seen it, I will tell you the truth.
SOF doesn't mean anything.
We were playing Hangman. Dr. Harrington was trying to guess the word "Softball."
That's why there's a drawing of a gallows on your father's chart as well.
I agree, we did act in poor taste, but, in our defense, your father has been in a coma for days now and we hoped that by playing a game near him, we might rouse him out of his deathly slumber.
Also, Dr. Harrington is terrible at Hangman and I am a little behind on some of my student loans.
Q: How is blood related to ice cream?
A: Ummm ... It's not.
It's really not.
In fact, I can't think of any two things more different than blood and ice cream. When bleeding, the last thought on my mind is "Gee, I could go for some ice cream. That would be swell."
When eating ice cream, the last thing I think about is blood. That would sort of ruin the enjoyment of my delicious treat.
Why would you even ask that question?
Yes, I see, there is a lot of blood on that ice cream cone. Yup, that is pretty unusual.
Where did you get it?
Don't remember, huh? Some nice man handed it right to you.
Stan, I know that you're new to Homicide, but you do realize that we're in this park as part of a stake-out, right? That we're looking for a serial killer the press have dubbed the Double Dipper? That he's called that because he kills his victims in an ice cream truck and then uses their blood as a topping for soft serve cones that he leaves behind as his calling card, as a way to taunt the police?
I doubt he's ever handed a cone directly to a cop before.
But, then again, we've never made anyone detective because they won a raffle.
I guess it's not your fault. These kind of things are to be expected when you allow a novice on the force solely to cover budgetary - For God's sakes, Stan, stop eating the cone!
It's really not.
In fact, I can't think of any two things more different than blood and ice cream. When bleeding, the last thought on my mind is "Gee, I could go for some ice cream. That would be swell."
When eating ice cream, the last thing I think about is blood. That would sort of ruin the enjoyment of my delicious treat.
Why would you even ask that question?
Yes, I see, there is a lot of blood on that ice cream cone. Yup, that is pretty unusual.
Where did you get it?
Don't remember, huh? Some nice man handed it right to you.
Stan, I know that you're new to Homicide, but you do realize that we're in this park as part of a stake-out, right? That we're looking for a serial killer the press have dubbed the Double Dipper? That he's called that because he kills his victims in an ice cream truck and then uses their blood as a topping for soft serve cones that he leaves behind as his calling card, as a way to taunt the police?
I doubt he's ever handed a cone directly to a cop before.
But, then again, we've never made anyone detective because they won a raffle.
I guess it's not your fault. These kind of things are to be expected when you allow a novice on the force solely to cover budgetary - For God's sakes, Stan, stop eating the cone!
Q: How old must kittens be before they can move on to dry food?
A: When they're about a year old, you can start giving them dry food.
Now, here's an important point, and one you should not forget:
Sawdust does not count as dry food.
I know you have barrels of it, and nothing to do with it, but please, for the love of God, stop feeding it to the kittens.
There's no room left in my septic tank.
Now, here's an important point, and one you should not forget:
Sawdust does not count as dry food.
I know you have barrels of it, and nothing to do with it, but please, for the love of God, stop feeding it to the kittens.
There's no room left in my septic tank.
Q: Are rhinos the same family as horses and are there inspired the myth of the unicorn?
A: Is that what you thought?
Oh dear.
I wondered what were doing in that shed every night, until the wee hours of the morning. I heard the screams, and saw all the blood - it was hard to miss - and after a while I could smell the corpses - oh to be born without a sense of smell - but I assumed you were doing something I could be proud of, like making a snuff film, or becoming a serial killer.
I never thought you would be doing something that would bring so much shame on your whole family.
Trying to make your own unicorn.
Who does that?
Where did you even get did the rhinos?
Please tell me that, before you set off trying to assemble a unicorn from the body parts of a rhino and the body parts of a horse, that you at least tried to get them to mate first. Please tell me that.
Thank God.
Please tell me that you videotaped the mating attempts.
No video, but you made notes.
Notes.
What am I supposed to do with notes?
You disgust me.
At times like this, I wish I never switched those babies in the hospital.
Oh dear.
I wondered what were doing in that shed every night, until the wee hours of the morning. I heard the screams, and saw all the blood - it was hard to miss - and after a while I could smell the corpses - oh to be born without a sense of smell - but I assumed you were doing something I could be proud of, like making a snuff film, or becoming a serial killer.
I never thought you would be doing something that would bring so much shame on your whole family.
Trying to make your own unicorn.
Who does that?
Where did you even get did the rhinos?
Please tell me that, before you set off trying to assemble a unicorn from the body parts of a rhino and the body parts of a horse, that you at least tried to get them to mate first. Please tell me that.
Thank God.
Please tell me that you videotaped the mating attempts.
No video, but you made notes.
Notes.
What am I supposed to do with notes?
You disgust me.
At times like this, I wish I never switched those babies in the hospital.
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- Ryan
- Ryan Callahan has written, produced, or directed shows for ABC, A&E, SHowtime, The CW, TVLand, Animal Planet and other networks even lower on your dial. When not making TV, or writing fake answers, he reads books, buys books, or buys books to read later. Follow WikiFakeAnswers on Twitter and Facebook