Q: What phobia is a fear of being lied to?

A: You don't have a phobia, you're a human being. A paranoid, needy human being. Being on a Reality Television Show can be a nerve-wracking experience. That's why they hire producers like me: To help you feel comfortable.

Ask yourself this question: Why would I lie to you? What would I possible have to gain?

Okay, that was two questions. Nothing gets by you.

Seriously, though, why would I lie to you? I'm your friend. You can trust me. We've known each other almost four days. When I tell you it's in your best interest to approach that complete stranger, tell him you love him and stick your tongue down his throat, you know I'm telling you the truth.

And you know that if you don't do it, you're not going to get a rose, and you'll end up standing in the driveway, crying, while 15 other girls are drinking champagne with the man you're supposed to marry.

So, are you going to listen to me, who's never lied to you, or to your instincts, who always let you down?

Q: How can the sun be seen from earth?

A:  With a telescope.

Or binoculars.

Or the naked eye.

Stare at it while you can, before it goes away.

Oh, wait. I'm thinking of glaciers.

The sun's not going anywhere. Nor should you stare at it.

I probably should have told you to stop staring a few hours ago.

I apologize.

On the bright side, unless comic books have lied to me, your other senses will improve.

I also apologize for using the phrase "on the bright side." How inconsiderate of me. Boy, is my face red.

You'll have to trust me.

Q: How long can raw steak be left out of the refrigerator and still be safe to cook and eat?

A: Two weeks. Three if you bought good steak.

That's how long we leave steak out in my family. My father ate pounds of what you call "rotten steak" every day of his life until he finally passed away at the ripe old age of 38.

I can't recall exactly what killed him. I was a mere boy when he passed. I remember him vomiting constantly, or sitting in his favorite chair, shivering, white as a ghost, as sweat rained down his face and he struggled to breathe. I think he had lupus. Or got hit by a truck. I'm sure it had nothing to do with his diet.

So, how do you want your steak cooked? I like my medium rare - that keeps the steak tender, but kills all the vermin.