Q: What kind of pain medication do they use for knee problems?

A: Typically something like Ibuprofen, Naproxen or Celecoxib. If you have a good-sized tolerance for meds, they might give you something stronger, like Tramadal or Hydrocodone. If you're real lucky, or you know somebody, you might be able to score some Morphine.

None of those options will work for you.

To suffer knee pain, you need to have a knee. You don't have a knee. Not anymore. What you're feeling is what they call "phantom pain." It's not real. It could go away in a minute, could last you rest of your life, hard to say.

That guy tore your leg right off. We all heard the snap from the sideline and assumed it was bad. We never expected it to be this bad. You, here, on the ground. Your leg, over there in the linebacker's hand. Our scouts were right. That guy is a beast. I've never seen such animal ferocity on a football field. I hate to say this, but in your condition there's little chance you'll remember, but I kind of admire that guy. It's like he doesn't even care that he's crippled a man for life. What dedication.

And now he's eating your leg. They should probably test that guy for drugs.

I'm sure you're in a lot of pain now, but as I said most of it is phantom pain. The pain will go away, the scars will heal, someday you might even walk again - I hear today's prosthetics are incredible - but no matter what happens, you'll always have the memory of scoring a touchdown in the Rose Bowl.

Damn it, I just saw the flag.

All right, enough with the speeches. I can't think of much else to say and you probably can't hear me, judging by the blood coming out of your ears. We need to get you off the field and to the hospital, and fast; the halftime show is about to start.