Q: Does a cap gun shoot?

A: I know what you're wondering - in addition to your question about a cap gun, a question I will address in a moment -  you're wondering, "Did he fire all 6 shots or just 5?" Well, in all the excitement, I kind of lost track.

You have to admit, that was pretty exciting. As a hardened criminal you might have done this sort of thing before and find it old hat, but this is my first week on the force and I've never chased anyone through the streets yelling and shooting and pushing people out of the way. That was awesome. I jumped over a baby carriage. Sure, I didn't totally clear it - kind of clipped it with my shoe - but I landed on my feet, unlike the baby. I'm sure he'll be fine. He only bounced a couple of times. His mother didn't seem to mind. As I ran away I saw her pumping her fist and cheering. I assume she was cheering. I couldn't make out much of what she said over all that gunfire, and the sound of heart pumping. I've never fired my gun at someone before. It's exhilarating.

I'm realizing I probably shouldn't have told you that it's my first week on the force, or that I've never fired a gun before, Please don't say anything. I'm still in a probationary period with the department. I'm not "officially" a cop, so I don't really have the authority to arrest anyone or shoot anyone or even carry a real gun. This is just a cap gun.

That answers your first question. A cap gun can shoot. It won't hit anything, but it can shoot. I made the bullets myself. Again, please don't tell anyone; strictly against department policy.

Now, to answer your second question, "Did I fire 5 shots or all 6?" Like I said, in all the excitement - I rolled across the hood of a cab! - anyway, I kind of lost track. So I have a question for you. Do feel lucky?

Well do you, punk?

You should, because I hear sirens and if they see me holding someone at gunpoint, I'll never get to be a real cop. Get the hell out of here. And please, never speak of this to anyone.