Q: How do you behave appropriately?

A: Every social situation, from a back-alley craps game to a State Dinner, has its own set of rules and codes. Navigating these rules, many of which are unwritten, many of which are contradictory, can be a challenge, even for the most talented social chameleon. But now, thanks to O.B.S.E.S.S.I.O.N., my simple social acceptance program, anyone, from any social class, can fit in anywhere.

When you find yourself in a new situation, unsure of how to act or what to say, take a deep breath, count to fourteen, and remember to:

O: Observe the situation.
B: Bomb a nearby car, van, rickshaw or building.
S: Secure cover from the blast.
E. Evaluate the survivors.
S: Secure a private conversation with a recent widow or adult orphan.
S: Seduce the recent widow or adult orphan.
I: Implicate your new lover in the bombing.
O: Offer to disappear for a substantial fee.
N: Never speak to anyone in this social group again.

By following the steps of the O.B.S.E.S.S.I.O.N. program, you'll always fit in, and always make out, no matter what new identity you've assumed.