Q: Why is church a formal organization?

A: You can't show up in your bathrobe and there's no cussing or beer drinking.

Q: What happens when posterior portion of the neural tube fail to develop properly?

A: Look, I happen to like Pro-Wrestling, okay.

I know that it's fake. Yes, it's kind of homo-erotic.

It's not all like that. Some of it can be quite good..

It doesn't make me an imbecile.

Q: What evidence did Edwin Hubble use to determine the universe is expanding?

A: His own expanding girth. After gaining 185 pounds over the course of three years due to his diet of fried chicken and ice cream sodas, he grew tired of explaining his new "look" at dinner parties and buffets.

One night, while pouring Hollandaise sauce on his third tray of bacon, he was asked if he "Haven''t you had enough." He quipped, "The universe is expanding. I'm trying to keep up." Those in attendance laughed uproariously and the phrase stuck.

Q: Who made embassy banjos?

A: In some ways, Embassy Banjos made themselves, created by the spirit of music itself.

In another, more literal, far more accurate way, Embassy Banjos were made by hillbillies. Men named Billy, who lived in the hills of West Virginia. Cruel, evil men, who tracked innocent hikers by day and spent the night killing them, tanning their skin and stretching it across banjo frames made from their bones.

Homemade Human Skin and Bone Banjos Made By Cannibals frightened consumers more than the Billies expected. After much consideration, debate, and violence, they settled on the name Embassy Banjos.

Q: What is the diet for the flying squirrel?

A: Today, he'll be feasting on lead.

On lead.

It probably would have been more impressive if I had cocked my shotgun while I said it. Ask me again. Ask me!

Today, he'll be feasting ... on lead.

Yes, that means I'm going to shoot the squirrel.

Why are you crying? What did you think we were doing today? Why did you think we brought guns?

Of course we're hunting squirrels.

Living with your mother has really made you soft.