Q: What is the cost of getting rid of the land mines?

A: Let's see here. You have 40 mines on three acres, all armed.

Right, 39 mines. How could I forget? This is awkward. Have they been able to find your wife's wedding ring? Or her hand? Or any identifiable part of her.

No, huh. Well, don't give up hope.

Anyway, 39 mines over three acres. When do you want them out?

Immediately. I can do immediately. But it's gonna cost you.

39 mines over three acres, taken out immediately ... I assume you want them disarmed and moved off site?

You don't have to shout, sir.

Okay, I'm going to have to call in some favors and bring in some extra staff, but I can get this done today. All it's going to cost you is $859 per mine. That's less than half what I charged you to put them in.

By the way, payment is due on the mine installation. Don't insult my intelligence and tell me your wife dealt with the money and had it all on her at the time of her tragic explosion. I've heard that one enough times. This isn't my first day in the land mine business. It's my third.