Q: What could you do to make your girlfriend trust you if she doesn't trust you anymore and you're really sorry for what you did and need her to believe you and trust you again read the answers?

A: If a poorly written question doesn't work, I suggest introducing total transparency into your relationship.

Give your girlfriend the passwords to your email, Facebook, and Twitter.

Give her total access to your phone records and bank statements.

Write a detailed journal of all the ways you have hurt her and all the times you have mistreated her.

Now that she is overwhelmed with information, you'll have plenty of time to set up a new email account, buy a prepaid cell-phone and resume cheating.

Q: What does it mean if you dream ghosts are holding you down in your dream and you cant shout or move?

A: You dress very slutty in your dreams.

Q:How long is a ham good if left unrefrigerated?

A: Ham stays good forever. It's not like an entire religion was based on the fact that pork will go bad and kill you.

Q: Can rock candy be recooked if it turned out soft?

A: You can recook that lump of goo as much as you want, but you're never going to have rock candy.

Rock candy is made from crystallized sugar.

Not from stuffing a bunch of rocks into a Snickers bar.

You get an A for effort.

Sadly, we don't give out grades for effort on The Iron Chef.

Q: Does a credit card read as declined regardless weather it be lack of funds or deactivated?

A: A credit card reads as declined for a number of reasons, from overdue payments, to insufficient funds, to suspicion  of theft. It happens every day.

I've never seen it happen for a pack of gum.

That must be so embarrassing.

And with your children right there.

Are they crying because your are such a failure?

Or just because they really wanted gum?