Friday, May 6, 2011

Q: What are areas of grey matter in the spinal cord?

A: Those are nanobots. Clusters of tiny robots slowly invading your system and taking over your skeleton.

As you can see on your x-ray, the bots have built bases in each vertebrae and presently will conquer your skull. Once that happens, your every action will be under the control of your tiny, robot overlords.

If you have any unchecked items on your "bucket list," I suggest you get to them. If you are unfamiliar with the term, a "bucket list" is -

- So you know what one is.

And you've brought yours with you. Excellent. Let's have a look.

Climb Mount Everest - That's out. The bots have severely weakened your spine. You won't be able to walk up a flight of stairs in a few days.

Drive in the Indy 500 - Again, not going to happen. You may not have noticed, but you don't have any depth perception. That's why you can't connect on any more high fives.

High Five the President - Strictly a fantasy at this point, for obvious reasons.

Watch a Minor League Baseball Game - Really aimed high on that one. I would suggest you do that today. It looks like the only item on your list that you might be able to accomplish before the bots take control.

Looking over your list, I see that you haven't checked off anything. What have you done with your life? What were you waiting for? Oh, wait, here's a check mark.

Make Love to A Robot

I guess we know how you got the nanobots.

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Ryan Callahan has written, produced, or directed shows for ABC, A&E, SHowtime, The CW, TVLand, Animal Planet and other networks even lower on your dial. When not making TV, or writing fake answers, he reads books, buys books, or buys books to read later. Follow WikiFakeAnswers on Twitter and Facebook