Q: What is the main trick for a dog to start with?

A: Any dog can play dead. Easiest thing to do. Doesn't involve much more than lying there, still as a rock, not moving a muscle or making a sound.

While you were on vacation, I taught your dog how to play dead. He didn't take to it at first. Couldn't focus. He just wanted to run. And play. And eat.

He loved to eat.  Only thing he cared about.

Once I took that food away, he got real focused, real quick. Pretty soon, he was playing dead at the drop of a hat. Then, all morning and all afternoon. Now, it's all he does.

Yup, your dog mastered the art of playing dead. And drawing flies. I can't take credit for that one. He picked that up on his own.

Q: How many seats does Ed Stelmach hold?

A: Right now, he has seven. Wait, eight.

Nine. He has nine chairs. He's holding nine chairs.

He has no idea how to play musical chairs. He's ruining the game for everyone.

I'm reluctant to stop him. His father donated a new scoreboard for the football field, but he's holding onto all the multiples of 7 until Ed graduates.

I had a choice: Either let Ed make a mockery of musical chairs, or ban extra points.

I chose to let Ed have his way.

Q: How much money does an osteopathic Neurologist earn?

A: If successful, and renowned, an osteopathic Neurologist can earn a salary in the high six figures. But becoming an successful and renowned osteopathic Nuerologist is not as easy as you may think. You need years of schooling, advanced medical degrees, decades of experience, dozens of articles published in leading medical trades and a sterling reputation as one of the leaders in your field.

You have none of those.

All you have is an ice-cream scoop, a hand saw and a fascination with brains.

Oh, and that creepy grin. I forgot about that.