Friday, November 19, 2010

Q: What is sequence of community changes that take place after a community is disrupted by natural disasters of human activities?

A: The sequence is as follows:

1.) Looting
2.) Finding like-minded people, forming gang.
3.) Coveting spouses.
4.) Looting.
5.) Killing pact member whose wife you covet. Making it look like an accident.
6.) Consoling spouse.
7.) Consoling her again the next morning.
8.) Hunting weakest gang member for food and sport, but mostly sport.
9.) Looting.
10.) Sending gang on suicide mission. Ending up alone.
11.) Repeat steps 1-10

Q: Is it bad to ask a guy out on his birthday?

A: Absolutely not. Most guys would love to get asked out on their birthday.

Make sure it is actually his birthday, and not the anniversary of the day he was acquitted for strangling seven waitresses in the Bay Area.

Not every cake is a birthday cake.

Q: How do pressure change as you go from the surface towards the center of the earth?

A: The pressure increases significantly, as does the aggression of the mole people.

Q: What makes you suitable for the vacancy you applied for?

A: I have all the knowledge of the person who previously held the position.

I acquired it when I cooked and ate his brain.

Which means I created the vacancy in the first place.

If nothing else, you should admire my initiative. And culinary daring.

Q: How do you heal bed bug bites on your skin?

A: Bed bug bites can be healed with a steady application of a topical cream and some patience.

You, however, do not have bed bug bites. You have bed sores. Those can be avoided entirely by rolling onto your back once in a while or getting out of bed altogether.

The expression "making a living on your back" is just that, an expression. Your laziness is making this brothel a laughingstock.

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Ryan Callahan has written, produced, or directed shows for ABC, A&E, SHowtime, The CW, TVLand, Animal Planet and other networks even lower on your dial. When not making TV, or writing fake answers, he reads books, buys books, or buys books to read later. Follow WikiFakeAnswers on Twitter and Facebook