Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Q: What should you put on a rash?

A: Son, remember when I woke you up in the middle of the night and told you not to worry but we had to leave now, right now, and we ran out of the house and you asked what happened to Mom and I told you to keep running and not to worry and we ran down the street and past all those people on the ground and you asked if they were sleeping and I told you to keeping running and not to worry and that man jumped out of the woods and you asked why his face looked like that and I told you to keep running and not to worry and he bit you and I shot him and I told you to keep running and not to worry?

Well, now it's time to worry.

Q: What is the proper attire for a jazz dance class?

A: Some folks choose to go all out and come to class in full costume. Others opt for functionality and wear tights and leg warmers and a headband. Most show up up in a ratty t-shirt and gym shirts.

But no matter what outfit you choose, the one thing you can't wear is blackface.

I'm going to have to ask you to leave. Or at least wash your face.

I'm sorry, your deposit is non-refundable. You'll have to find some other way to pay for your burnt cork.

Q: What questions would be asked in an interview for a cartoonist?

A: Generally, they ask about your experience, your ideas and your ability to meet deadlines. They'll probably ask about your influences and your process, get a sense of your humor, that sort of thing.

In your case, I suspect they may get more specific. They'll probably want to know about your arms. They'll probably ask some questions about them. Questions like,

"How did you lose your arms?"
"How did losing your arms affect your cartooning?"
"Are robot arms a common prosthetic?"
"How powerful are your robot arms?"
"Could you crush a man with your robot arms?"
"Have you ever crushed a man with your robot arms, like an editor or publisher?"

Yup, they'll probably focus on that.

That might also ask if you can draw anything other than robot porn.

About Me

My photo
Ryan Callahan has written, produced, or directed shows for ABC, A&E, SHowtime, The CW, TVLand, Animal Planet and other networks even lower on your dial. When not making TV, or writing fake answers, he reads books, buys books, or buys books to read later. Follow WikiFakeAnswers on Twitter and Facebook