Q: What does the h mean on an ATV tire?

A: The H doesn't stand for anything. It's just that, an H. It stands for H, the letter H.

Take a step back and look to your right. You'll see another letter. To the right of that, another letter. And then one more on the end there. If you look closely, or at all, you'll notice these four letters make a word. A word that has been written, again and again, all over your ATV. A pretty nasty word.

Folks round here are pretty conservative. Well, let's be fair -  they're bigots. Hateful bigots. Some of the meanest, hateful, fear-mongers you can imagine. God Bless them, but they don't know any better.

Guess they heard about what goes on in your cabin when the Mayor visits. Guess they don't approve. At least, now that they understand what happens when the Mayor visits. They really didn't get it at first.

They're simple folks. They don't understand much. You can't imagine how many times I had to explain it. At first they thought you were wrestling. Then I explained it. Then I explained again. And again. Finally I drew some pictures. Then they got it. And, man alive, did they get angry.

I have to admit, it was kind of fun seeing that moment of realization, watching them get all angry, quoting the bible and using all those slurs. They sure do get worked up. You have no idea what they wanted to do to you. Good thing I was here to talk them out of the murderous rage I had recently incited them to. Things like that make me a good sheriff.  Thankfully, I was able to stop them in time. Luckily, only your 4-wheeler was damaged.

Speaking of ... Now that your ATV is all defaced, have you reconsidered my offer to buy? The Sheriff's Department could really use one.