Q: What is a good link to see the commercial for potty training with an upside-down book?

A: I think I see your problem right there.

The first lesson of potty training is to let gravity do all the work.

Having your boy stand on his head while using the toilet creates more work than necessary.

I guess it might make everything cleaner, in theory.

In practice, however, your boy has a whole lot of poop on his head.

Q: Who grants one person all the power over people?

A: Only God can grant that power, as outlined in his book, The Bible.

He's pretty clear about who has that power, a guy named Jesus.

You'll notice that my son is also named Jesus.

Coincidence? Probably not.

You should listen to what my Jesus says.

Unlike that wimp in the bible, this Jesus does not fight by turning the other cheek and bleeding all over the place.

He fights with the power of Kung Fu.

So, when he says you should give me your house and have your daughters service me at my whim, you better do what he says.

Did I mention the Kung Fu?

Oh? I did? Well, then. You have been warned.

Jesus, attack!

Use the Kung Fu!

Look out!

Don't just bleed all over him.

Damn.

Damn.

Stop crying, Jesus. It wasn't that bad.

And you, I bet you feel like a big man, beating up an 8 year old.

Way to go, big shot.

Don't bow. This applause is sarcastic.

Q: Where must a tennis serve land to be considered in?

A: It must land in the field of play.

The grassy area, marked by the lines.

It must land inside those lines. Inside that box, specifically.

A serve that lands in the gaping maw of the Queen Mother can not be consider in.

I am being serious.

Lower your voice.

We are all impressed by your trick shot ability, and your timing. We all agree that she was snoring rather loudly and disrupting the game.

While you are due a kudos, sir, and a smattering of light applause, you do not deserve any points.

Now please gather the remnants of your shattered racket and resume play. It is your serve.

Q: How are nuclear energy used?

A: Nuclear energy can be used to power great cites, or large submarines.

But, nuclear energy is best used to teach the Japanese an important lesson about sneak attacks.

And to teach the lesson again, a few days later, just to make sure it really sinks in.

Q: What does a non custodial parent do when he has no job to pay child support?

A: Have you ever thought about robbing banks?

The money is just sitting there. Lots of it.

And I don't know if you've been in a bank recently, but most of the tellers are old, and feeble.

You could probably take the money right out of their hands. Their feeble, old hands.

I guess bank robber it is, then.

Or, getting a real job.

But let's be honest. You couldn't even keep custody of your child.

How could you possibly keep a job?