Q: How do you put dialogue into a book report?

A: With quotation marks, followed by a page number. For longer quotations, display the selection as a block quote.

In the future, please make sure that the passages quoted are directly from the book, and not from some outside source.

For instance, dialogue quoted from the film Glengarry Glen Ross has no place in a report on the book The Phantom Tollbooth.

Furthermore, dialogue passages that are clearly transcriptions of secretly recorded conversations between your mother and father have no place in a formal book report.

And certainly not when they are love scenes.

Do I even have to explain why the drawings are inappropriate?

Q: How can you estimate how far away the lightening strike will be?

A: I make a quick judgment based on air pressure, wind velocity and how hard I concentrate. When I focus, I can shoot a burst of lightening from my fingers that will blow a flea off a rat's ass without singeing a hair.

Now, that's when I'm sober.

When I'm drunk, as drunk as I am now, there's really no telling where the lightning will strike. I usually don't use my powers when I'm drinking.

That's why I don't fight crime on Friday.

Friday's party night.

And Black Lightning loves to party!

But that girl over there asked to see me use my powers. And she's very attractive. And so is her friend.

And Black Lighting's so very, very lonely.

Q: What changes did the post - World War 1 years bring for workers?

A: Thanks to the influx of broken, battle scarred men fresh from the front lines, the weak, unskilled workers of America, too feeble to serve in the military, suddenly found themselves employable. Nearly every non-war veteran,  even the grossly unqualified, were able to get better jobs, with higher pay, then ever before, thanks to the fact that they had all their limbs, were not horribly disfigured or crippled by shrapnel or mustard gas, and did not break into tears at the sound of a door slamming.

Q: Who was the first person to be documented in human history?

A: Org of Trundle, the subject of thousands of cave drawings, oral histories, and primitive stick figurines made by his father Grod.

From the moment of Org's birth, Grod saw the potential in art and stories based on the life of his son and set about documenting his boy's every move. He would record his first step, his first words, even the first time he nearly drowned because his father was too busy drawing a picture of the first time he tried to swim.

After a while, when it became clear that Org cared for little but sitting in the shade and pleasuring himself, and led a rather boring existence, Grod, disowned his son and turned his attention to a more interesting subject: a brightly colored, oddly shaped rock he found near the entrance to his cave.

In a funny coincidence, years later, that very rock became the first piece of evidence ever used in a patricide trial.

Q: What side effects would drinking Robitussin cough syrup have on you?

A: You'll stop coughing and have a good night's sleep!

I'm pretty sure Robitussin does put you to sleep. At least it does the way I make it.

Oh, suddenly you're too good to use homemade medicine?

I've been making homemade cough syrup for years, and I've never had one complaint. Not one. And I've given it to dozens and dozens of attractive girls, new to Los Angeles, who I found coughing at the bus station.

It's your choice: You can stick your nose in the air, wait for the drug store to open and spend the whole night coughing and wheezing and being miserable, or you can drink this glass of delicious, homemade Robitussin and sleep more soundly then you ever have before.

Did I mention it's maple flavored?

What's it going to be?

Good. I'm glad you came to your senses. That cough of yours was getting mighty annoying.

You'll have to drink this whole pint to get the full effect. And for it to work best, you have to drink it real fast.

Here you go, down the hatch.

Good job. You'll start feeling better in minutes.

Why don't you lie down and get comfortable?

You'll feel sleepy in no time. Soon, your cough will clear up, your spirits will rise, and you'll drift off into a land of bliss, where you won't feel a thing.

As an added bonus, your gag reflex will be completely gone.

Oh, one more thing:

Before you drift off completely, I need you to sign this release.