A: The hotter the water, the quicker the tablet will dissolve.
If the liquid is mixed with alcohol and the tablet contains a high concentration of a lethal poison such as arsenic, the tablet will dissolve even quicker.
But, judging by my drowsiness, blurred vision and the numbness in my arms, you already knew this.
You bastard.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Q: What is the nickname for the Oresund bridge?
A: It's called the Second Rate Bridge.
They wanted to call it the Golden Gate Bridge, on account of it being made of gold, and all those gates. When it came time to file the paperwork, the townspeople discovered that another bridge already had them name.
There were your usual lawsuits and everything and as a result of the settlement, we had to name it The Second Rate Bridge. No one liked it at the time, but now it proved to be pretty accurate.
It turns out it's a terrible idea to make a bridge out of gold, because it's so soft and heavy. Those gates didn't help either. They're pretty much a death trap.
You guys need a lift across? We'll never make it, but it's a hell of a trip.
They wanted to call it the Golden Gate Bridge, on account of it being made of gold, and all those gates. When it came time to file the paperwork, the townspeople discovered that another bridge already had them name.
There were your usual lawsuits and everything and as a result of the settlement, we had to name it The Second Rate Bridge. No one liked it at the time, but now it proved to be pretty accurate.
It turns out it's a terrible idea to make a bridge out of gold, because it's so soft and heavy. Those gates didn't help either. They're pretty much a death trap.
You guys need a lift across? We'll never make it, but it's a hell of a trip.
Q: How much money does a medical doctor resident make?
A: They generally make around $175,000 a year, plus whatever gold fillings they can pull out of all the people who "accidentally" die in their care. Lot of sick folk these days, if you know what I mean.
Q: Is Florida Supreme court Justice Ricky L Polston conservative?
A: Not when it comes to the ponies. He's always betting on the long shots.
When I say "ponies" I mean strict constructionists who feel that that the state Constitution was written in stone and is not a living document.
And by "long shots" I mean lawyers with little or no legal training and those who frequently show up drunk in court.
So, when you hired me, you picked the right lawyer. I literally think the Constitution was written in stone, I have never been to college, let alone law school and I am drunk at this very moment.
You might as well start spending the money you're going to win right now. In fact, you can start by buying another round. I like scotch.
When I say "ponies" I mean strict constructionists who feel that that the state Constitution was written in stone and is not a living document.
And by "long shots" I mean lawyers with little or no legal training and those who frequently show up drunk in court.
So, when you hired me, you picked the right lawyer. I literally think the Constitution was written in stone, I have never been to college, let alone law school and I am drunk at this very moment.
You might as well start spending the money you're going to win right now. In fact, you can start by buying another round. I like scotch.
Q: Why does it hurt when I put in a tampon?
A: Because you are a man. And you are trying to put it in your urethra.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
About Me
- Ryan
- Ryan Callahan has written, produced, or directed shows for ABC, A&E, SHowtime, The CW, TVLand, Animal Planet and other networks even lower on your dial. When not making TV, or writing fake answers, he reads books, buys books, or buys books to read later. Follow WikiFakeAnswers on Twitter and Facebook