Q: Is it true that the lighter you are it takes a longer time for weed to leave your system?

A: If you are lighter because you are skinny and have few fat cells to store the THC, yes.

If you are lighter because you hacked off your arm with a meat cleaver, no.

Q: How long would it take to sail from Los Angeles to the Dominican Republic?

A: With this wind and these calm waters, about 10 days.

Oh the places we'll go.

Oh, the sights we'll see.

Oh the friends we'll make - mostly imaginary.

There are few people here on the sea.

Fewer still who want to befriend a trio of drifters on the lam, looking to make their fortune selling candy bars to school children in the Dominican.

Fewer still who will want to befriend a trio of drifters on the lam, looking to make their fortune selling candy bars to school children in the Dominican, who intend to sail all the way there in a wash tub.

Well, we may be lonely, and we may be smelly, and we may lose our minds after prolonged exposure to the sun, but we'll always have a great story to -

 - Hal, did you eat all the candy bars?

WHAT THE FUCK?

Q: What good colleges can you get into?

A: I can get into NYU, because I made a series of award-winning snuff films. They all made the papers. At least after my acquittal.

Or I could get into Vanderbilt, study hotel management, because of my high GPA, my solid ACT score and my years of distinguished service at Motel 6.

I could get into Arizona State, because I filled out the application.

But I'll probably go to Yale, because of the school President's fondness for underage boys. And my talents as a photographer.

Q: What are the factors causing decline of biodiversity?

A: Well, the plants are dying. The pesticides we brought killed them. Ironically, the pesticides didn't kill the bugs. They made the bugs stronger. Faster. Meaner.

The bugs ate the livestock. The bugs ate the birds. The bugs ate the lab animals. The bugs ate Jennings, the lab tech. The bugs got the thirst for human blood.

There's not many of us left now, Spiros, just you and me. And the bugs. All those bugs. The bugs and nothing else. That's not biodiversity, that's bioscarcity.

When they write the history of BioSphere 4, they'll blame the sudden, cataclysmic decline on biodiversity on any number of factors: poor planning, shoddy construction, improper pesticides, our decision to stock the sphere with insects discovered in a smoking crater from the Mojave Desert. But those aren't the real reason.

The real reason is the lack of air. We made the place air tight. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Another good idea would have been to install some oxygen tanks so we'd have something to breathe. The lack of oxygen really clouded our thinking. We really haven't done anything right since.

If we make it out of here, and I get a chance to design BioSphere 4 - as God as my witness - I will not make that mistake again. I will use my construction budget for actual construction, construction of the Sphere, construction of a life support system, instead of construction of a false identity that allowed us to jet around the world, living the high life and bedding models from Eastern Europe.

Those were the days, Spiros.

Spiros, you have a bug for a head.