Q: How was clothing made in the middle ages?

A: By stone, from stone. That's why so little art and literature survives from that period. The simple act of getting dressed took up to seven hours and was so exhausting that wearer would immediately take a nap, or be crushed to death by their formal attire, leaving little time for creativity.

One of the benefits of stone garments was the protection they offered in battle and in domestic disputes. You were unlikely to be stabbed to death or beaten with mutton while wearing a stone tuxedo. Unfortunately, you were also unlikely be able to walk for more than thirty feet without suffering a massive coronary, which in those days was known as "over sanguination."

Medical experts of the time, who doubled as chefs, believed that the gray color of the clothing angered the invisible spirits who lived in wood chips At their suggestion, the garments were painted black, which made them unbearably hot, leading to massive deaths caused by heatstroke.

Soon after, the chefs of the period, who doubled as medical experts, introduced a low cost meat stew.

Q: Are there certain moves for figure skating?

A: There are many. They require grace, stamina, power and balance.

Most of the moves involve leaps and spins and bold, dramatic turns.

None of the moves involve lying on the ice and twitching.

There's no such move as the "Fish Out of Water."

I know. I've been an Olympic figure skating judge for thirty years.

I give your routine a score of 1.1 and urge you to take up a more fitting activity, such as door stopping or flood prevention. Those sand bags don't have to do all the work.

I don't think I being too harsh. I'm doing my job.

I don't care what the Special Olympic stands for.

If you wanted everyone to be a winner, why did you hire judges?

Q: How many credits are needed for law school?

A: Most law schools require about 120 credits before applying.

I see from your transcript that you have over 3,000.

However, law schools only credits from course work at an accredited college or university.

Not in adult film.