Q: Who was the first person to be documented in human history?

A: Org of Trundle, the subject of thousands of cave drawings, oral histories, and primitive stick figurines made by his father Grod.

From the moment of Org's birth, Grod saw the potential in art and stories based on the life of his son and set about documenting his boy's every move. He would record his first step, his first words, even the first time he nearly drowned because his father was too busy drawing a picture of the first time he tried to swim.

After a while, when it became clear that Org cared for little but sitting in the shade and pleasuring himself, and led a rather boring existence, Grod, disowned his son and turned his attention to a more interesting subject: a brightly colored, oddly shaped rock he found near the entrance to his cave.

In a funny coincidence, years later, that very rock became the first piece of evidence ever used in a patricide trial.