Q: What side effects would drinking Robitussin cough syrup have on you?

A: You'll stop coughing and have a good night's sleep!

I'm pretty sure Robitussin does put you to sleep. At least it does the way I make it.

Oh, suddenly you're too good to use homemade medicine?

I've been making homemade cough syrup for years, and I've never had one complaint. Not one. And I've given it to dozens and dozens of attractive girls, new to Los Angeles, who I found coughing at the bus station.

It's your choice: You can stick your nose in the air, wait for the drug store to open and spend the whole night coughing and wheezing and being miserable, or you can drink this glass of delicious, homemade Robitussin and sleep more soundly then you ever have before.

Did I mention it's maple flavored?

What's it going to be?

Good. I'm glad you came to your senses. That cough of yours was getting mighty annoying.

You'll have to drink this whole pint to get the full effect. And for it to work best, you have to drink it real fast.

Here you go, down the hatch.

Good job. You'll start feeling better in minutes.

Why don't you lie down and get comfortable?

You'll feel sleepy in no time. Soon, your cough will clear up, your spirits will rise, and you'll drift off into a land of bliss, where you won't feel a thing.

As an added bonus, your gag reflex will be completely gone.

Oh, one more thing:

Before you drift off completely, I need you to sign this release.