Q: What is the age when you eventually start losing your memory?

A: It varies, depending on your health, your diet, your history of substance abuse, your proximity to industrial solvents and your family's history of mental illness.

No matter the age, however, most people lose their memory, gradually, over time, not all at once, on the witness stand, the moment the prosecutor begins his line of questioning.

It seems a bit ... phony.

Don't try eating your tie. No one buys it. And the deadline to file for an insanity defense has long passed.

Just pay the jaywalking ticket, get on with your life, and stop wasting this court's time.