Q: What would a diviner not do?

A: Generally, and I'm more saying this as a suggestion, not as a rule, a diviner would not poke your eye out with his stick. Sorry, with his "Divining Rod."

But, as they say, accidents do happen.

As I am sure you are all well aware.

We can spend all afternoon pointing fingers and assigning blame and making wild statements about the legality of a college student posing as a diviner to make a few extra dollars to pay for books and weed - mostly weed - or we can use that energy, put our heads together, and figure out how to fix your son's eye.

I say we cram it back in there. Now, in full disclosure, much like I am not a diviner - which I should have disclosed earlier - I am not a doctor. I am however pre-med. And I say we shove that sucker back in the socket, wrap some gauze around his head, sedate him, and call it a day. 

I study cinema.

I could go to medical school. There's no law against it.

Are we going to stand here all day and argue semantics? Or, are we going to try and save the boy's sight?

Good.

We should sedate him first. His screams make it really hard to concentrate. Does anyone have any morphine? Okay. Then, does anyone have a bong? How about an apple? Or a Coke can?

Wow, you guys must be a barrel of fun on the weekends.

All right, hand me that rock, I'll knock him out.

Okay, boy, stop flailing, this will only take a sec -

Oops.

What are the chances I hit the other eye? That's, like, one in a million.

You have to admit, it's kind of funny.

And horribly tragic.

On the bright side, his other senses will get a lot stronger.

I assume you are familiar with the story of Daredevil.