Q: How much does it cost to make a will?

A: Why do you want to make a will, Dad?

Aren't you going to leave everything to me when you die?

That was always my understanding. That's why I spent all those years running your companies, doing your dirty work, and burying the skeletons in your closet, both literal and figurative.

I wouldn't have done all that if I knew you would get remarried at the age of 82 and leave everything to your new wife and her freakish, hillbilly family.

I thought you got that hillbilly jones out of your system. That's why we opened that plant in Kentucky.

If you insist on making a will, I'll draw one up for you, free of charge. All you'll need to do is sign it. I'll take care of the rest. I'll make sure your lovely new bride gets taken care of. I'll even buy her a home without wheels on it. She'll be thrilled.

What do you say, Dad?

You better decide soon. The trains pretty close.

It's going to take me a while to untie you.