Q: How do you become popular with your friends?

A: There's no better way to be popular, and stay popular, than by giving your friends really nice presents.

Look, you're the new kid in town, and you seem nice, but people haven't made up their mind about you yet. I can help you change that. The most important thing is to let people into your home, throw lots of parties and, make people feel really - Hey - Is that a samuari sword?

Yeah, I'm going to need that.

Your dad can get you a new one when he goes back to Japan.

Then your Mom can marry someone new and he can go to Japan. She's very attractive. I don't care how you get a new sword, as long as I get that one.

I thought you wanted me to be your friend.

I thought you wanted to be popular.

You're going need to loosen up if you want to be popular. You can't be all shy and defensive and feeling sorry for yourself about your dead father and expect people to like you.

So, about that sword?

Awesome. You're going to be super popular. I'll bring some friends over tomorrow. They have great taste, so you better have some nice stuff to give them. Like maybe a car. Kids in this town love cool cars.

Oh, and is your mom going to be around?

Great. Make sure she wears something nice.