A: Only God can grant that power, as outlined in his book, The Bible.
He's pretty clear about who has that power, a guy named Jesus.
You'll notice that my son is also named Jesus.
Coincidence? Probably not.
You should listen to what my Jesus says.
Unlike that wimp in the bible, this Jesus does not fight by turning the other cheek and bleeding all over the place.
He fights with the power of Kung Fu.
So, when he says you should give me your house and have your daughters service me at my whim, you better do what he says.
Did I mention the Kung Fu?
Oh? I did? Well, then. You have been warned.
Jesus, attack!
Use the Kung Fu!
Look out!
Don't just bleed all over him.
Damn.
Damn.
Stop crying, Jesus. It wasn't that bad.
And you, I bet you feel like a big man, beating up an 8 year old.
Way to go, big shot.
Don't bow. This applause is sarcastic.
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- Ryan
- Ryan Callahan has written, produced, or directed shows for ABC, A&E, SHowtime, The CW, TVLand, Animal Planet and other networks even lower on your dial. When not making TV, or writing fake answers, he reads books, buys books, or buys books to read later. Follow WikiFakeAnswers on Twitter and Facebook