Q: What evidence did Edwin Hubble use to determine the universe is expanding?

A: His own expanding girth. After gaining 185 pounds over the course of three years due to his diet of fried chicken and ice cream sodas, he grew tired of explaining his new "look" at dinner parties and buffets.

One night, while pouring Hollandaise sauce on his third tray of bacon, he was asked if he "Haven''t you had enough." He quipped, "The universe is expanding. I'm trying to keep up." Those in attendance laughed uproariously and the phrase stuck.