Q: What steps would you need to take to get a job in Retail?

A:  There's no one right way to get a job in retail, but here are some helpful do's and do-not's to help guide you in your job search.

DO fill out your application as legibly as possible. Use black pen, or even better, type your answers.

DO NOT fill out your application in blood. No one is impressed by how legible you can write in blood.

DO try to meet the manager when you drop off your application. Shake his hand and introduce yourself while making good eye contact.

DO NOT threaten the manager. Or the assistant manager. Or the customers. Or mall security. Yes, they are not real cops, but you don't have to constantly remind them.

DO show up for your interview on time, well groomed and dressed professionally.

DO NOT show up for your interview on time, dressed as a professional wrestler, no matter how long it took you to make your Ultimate Warrior costume.

DO call upon your personal work experience to answer hypothetical questions during the interview.

DO NOT start every answer with the phrase "That reminds me of an episode of Bang Bus ..."

DO follow up the interview with a thank you note or email.

DO NOT follow up the interview with a ransom note.

DO keep trying if you fail to secure the first job you seek.

DO NOT get discouraged and begin a life of crime. There are better jobs out there than retail, such as every other job in the world.