Q: How far back can a mother get child support in Illinois?

A: As far back as you can prove delinquency of payment.

But, and here's kind of a touchy subject, so I'll just come right out and say it.

You can't collect back support for any of the children you drowned.

I don't make the laws, ma'am.

I just enforce them.

I can't say why I choose this profession. Maybe I wanted to give back. Maybe I love chasing down deadbeat dads. Maybe I love the constant access to poor, needy, vulnerable women.

You seem sad, by the way.

How are you feeling?

Why don't we go grab a drink and talk about it?