Monday, July 18, 2011

Q: What did the bill of rights devote much of its attention to?

A: Graphic descriptions of attractive waitresses in the Philadelphia area whom James Madison bedded, hoped to bed or dreamed about bedding, along with a great many detailed sketches of  body parts, positions, locations, sandwiches, cuckolded husbands, and enthralled observers.

These sketches proved three things:
1.) Madison fancied married woman.
2.) Madison had little understanding of female anatomy.
3.) Madison considered marble rye highly erotic.                                                                                      

After a lively, eight-minute debate, Madison's bill of rights was soundly rejected by every delegate in attendance, causing Madison to storm out of the hall in a fit of rage, vowing to retire from public service, swearing revenge on every man who had crossed him. After eating a sandwich, and spending an hour alone with Alexander Hamilton's wife , Madison reappeared on the convention floor with his freshly written Bill of Rights, which the delegates quickly ratified.

Years later, Mrs. Hamilton wrote a memoir about the incident, Ham Sandwich on My Knee: The Bizarre and Ultimately Disappointing Love-Making of James Madison. Madison, now President, ordered the book banned and burned. When told that the Bill of Rights prevented him ordering books to be burned, Madison ordered the Bill of Rights burned. When told that he couldn't do that, he ordered a ham sandwich on marble rye, brought to him by Mrs. Alice Wellner, a married waitress from Philadelphia.

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Ryan Callahan has written, produced, or directed shows for ABC, A&E, SHowtime, The CW, TVLand, Animal Planet and other networks even lower on your dial. When not making TV, or writing fake answers, he reads books, buys books, or buys books to read later. Follow WikiFakeAnswers on Twitter and Facebook