Q: Who are the next two people to take over if the president should die?

A: If anything should happen to the President and he is unable to fulfill the duties of his office, one person would take over. One, not two.

One.

That one person would be the Vice President of the United States.

That one person would be you, Mr. Biden.

I assumed that was explained to you during the transition, or during the election, or you had stumbled across that information at some point during your twenty plus years in the Senate.

If anything happens to the President, then you become the President. You get to sit in the Oval Office, you get to make the decisions, you get the nuclear codes. Everything rests on your shoulders.

I'm going to need you to pull yourself together, sir. Please stop crying. Everything is going to be okay. The President is young and fit - nothing is going to happen to him.

If anything does happen to him, you'll have tons of support - all your friends will be there, we'll help you with your speeches and meetings, we'll show you around the White House so you don't get locked in the closet again, and, you can eat all the ice cream you want, all day long. You can even have ice cream for breakfast!

Doesn't that sound fun?

Wonderful. Now go to bed and get a good night's sleep.  You have a big day of gaffes tomorrow and you'll need your rest.