Q: What can we do to help a polar bear?

A: You can't do much now but stand in the corner and wait for the tag. Make sure to hold onto that tag rope, otherwise the tag won't count.

I know you want to jump into the ring and start beating on your opponents and helping the bear, but you can't do it. The referee will drag you back to the corner, turning his back on your foes, giving them the chance to cheat and beat on the bear some more. You'd be doing more harm than good. You'll have to be patient and wait for that tag.

Once he tags you, then you can fight. You can vault right over that top rope like a house afire - fists pumping, knees churning, heart racing - kick some ass, win the match, raise those glorious tag-team championship belts over your head, and finally win the respect of your father.

Of course, you may be waiting for that tag for some time. The polar bear doesn't seem to understand the rules of tag team wrestling.

I hate to be the guy who says "I told you so," but I did tell you choosing a polar bear as your tag team partner was a terrible idea. A bear might be a natural wrestler, but no bear, not even the smartest and toughest one, has any experience with tag team wrestling. It's a completely different kind of wrestling, one he clearly does not understand.

I bet he doesn't even know he's in a fight. That would explain why he spends most of his time wandering around, scratching himself and letting them beat on him. He probably thinks it's cute.

And now he's taking a nap.

Might be a while before you get that tag. Might be time to start brainstorming other ways to impress your dad.